The other day, I was at my local Von's getting groceries, by myself. A guy approached me and started to tell me that I was beautiful and that he'd like to get to know me. I told him thank you, but no thank you - I have a boyfriend.
Most of the time, this is where the story ends.
Unfortunately, throughout the store, he continued to follow me, blocking me in lanes "playfully" - laughing even. My natural reaction to guys like this are to not acknowledge their behavior or communication. As his attempts to get my attention kept failing, I found myself unbothered for the last 10 minutes of my shopping trip. I walked out of Von's feeling safe.
He was waiting for me outside, parked in a handicap spot, in his car.
He looked at me and we made eye contact. He proceeded to tell me that he thought I was beautiful. I looked away and I did not reply. As I pushed my cart towards my car, his voice got louder and louder. He began shouting at me, at first they were compliments, then his voice sounded more irritated as he called for my attention. Still ignoring him, I put my groceries in my car and went to go put the cart away. As I turn around and look at my car, I see that he has re-parked his vehicle to be next to mine. At this point, I was scared. Not knowing what to do, I continued to ignore him as he continued to attempt to talk to me. I got into my car and drove away slowly and carefully, watching him to be sure that he doesn't follow me. He followed me out of the parking lot, but made an opposite turn.
This is where the story ends for me. But this is not where the story ends for a lot of other women.
This man breached my sense of safety. He took away from me my feelings of being secure in my own familiar surroundings. That is what makes me so upset about the situation; that a complete stranger can take such an intimate feeling away from me. It is not okay.
What do you do in a situation like this? How do we teach our daughters how to stay safe and what to do when this happens? How can we, as women, prepare ourselves for the worst?
I am interested in finding programs here in San Diego that teach self-defense for women, both physically and verbally. I want to find a program that will teach me how to react in a manner that will not escalate the situation, but diffuse it. I want everyone to take these classes, because, at least for me, I refuse to live my life in fear of these kinds of men.
