My english class has been presenting the book "Into the Wild." A summer reading I did.
Short story: It's about a guy named Chris McCandless who goes by the name Alex on his trip. This trip consists of moving around all over and embarking on adventures he always yearned for. Everything was last minute and unplanned. The root of his runaway began with him growing up in lies, with his father cheating and being deceitful to everyone. Chris felt like his life was all a fabrication and what he wanted was an escape. He began to search for reality, in which in his idea was the woods, inner man, and thought. He held in all his anger with his parents, even after obeying them and going to college even though he didn't want too, then left them with no idea where he was until they discovered him at his death bed in Alaska (died of starvation). Although his father cheated, he grew up in a family of money and opportunity. He was a pro-runner in high school and excelled in all classes. He wasn't a dumb kid. Arrogant and egotistical maybe, but not dumb. Anyways, my point in telling you is because he was the kind of person who held things in, sucked it up, and followed what was he told to do despite his true wishes.
I feel like I'm also another example of someone who's holding it in, sucking it up, and doing what I'm told and expected to do.
Perhaps a breaking point is arriving soon enough. Of course, I'm not saying I'm going to run off into the wild and escape society - in fact I'm not very sure what I would do if I really lost it.
All I know is that I am no where near where I belong.
Everyone tells me, "oh you'll get used to it. You just have to open your mind to it and embrace it. It'll get better when school starts. You'll find friends. You'll like your new school."I don't believe any of these statements are true yet. I sit around all day in my indolence with a highly mercurial attitude. Truth is, I'm irritated. Plainly and simply agitated. Can I help it? Probably. Will I try? Probably not. Why? Because I'm still balking the idea of living here. I can't express it in any other way except for that I don't belong here. I don't have the friends like I did back in Michigan. I can't stand this whole clique thing at this new school (I've never been the girl who envied the cheerleaders or other pretty girls but now I am and I hate the feeling). I hate never seeing familiar faces. Let's face it, I'm a small town girl in a world too big for her. I had such a life set up back at home. I worked with the Mayor of Grand Rapids on projects, I had a job, I had my closest friends and closest family, and I was doing everything I could do to reach my goal of going to U of M. Everything has changed except for one thing.
I am determined to get my life back. I will wrap up my high school career here and set about on my goal of going to the University of Michigan. My high school life, I feel like, will be a bust. It'll be something I'm going to be bitter about and never really want to speak of. I'll always be that quiet girl in the back, something I never was at City High. I mean, let's face it. The second week of school just finished and everything's still going down hill. It's friday night and I'm sitting in my room with no plans and no life. For all of you who envy me for moving to California instead of staying in old stinking Michigan, don't. I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat.
(I have my moments).
-mittens.
