At this very moment, I've never felt so alone, so empty, so hungry for home.
I sit in a room full of clutter, laughter, and conversation, but I'm isolated and lost. It's like that tragic scene in the movies when the girl is succumbed into her own world, whirled in her own translations, in a room full of happy people, surrounded by many - but still solitary.There's no screaming, no crying for help. There is none because in this social jungle I am none. I am but that mere beetle on the log, that last leaf on the tree, clinging onto survival while feeling demised.
No, I'm not literally dying. I just hate the thought that I'm miserable, but I don't know what to do about it. I miss home, my friends, my life; the high school life I had filled with presidency and impressive participation - prepping for college, the career I had at City Hall which would have opened so many doors for me after college, and the familiar smiles and voices. The general care that people had for me at my old school, I miss that. And ultimately, I feel like I'm missing out.
I know I had a lot of fake friends at home; people who secretly talked about me behind my back and maybe even hated me. But the saddest part is (I've come to realize through this experience) I prefer having fake friends - than no friends at all.
-mittens.
