Thursday nights are always my "crash" nights.
The nights where I've just had it; I can't stand to look at a textbook for another second. They are the nights that I need rest. Where I need to go to bed early just to regain my strength that I have lost throughout the stressful school week.
I still have strong feelings about the corrupted school system but I know that an education is what I need to have so that I can do the things I want to do in my life. I have to do what I have to do in order to do what I have to. I have to stress myself to get A's throughout high school and college in order to get a job and have enough money for my dreams of traveling. It is through traveling where I will learn what's really rich in knowledge; culture, environment, architecture, history, language, and mother earth's different faces.
So here I sit, textbooks and notebooks and pencils, just waiting to graduate from high school so I can move on with my life. To break away from this pathetic social hierarchy that internally torments and manipulates one's understanding of beauty. Excuse me for understanding beauty as one who is comfortable in her skin. One who can be without make-up and one who can grasp the original concept that make-up is to enhance not exploit. One who knows that you don't have to be platinum blonde with dark rimmed eyeliner, a super push-up bra, and a skirt short enough for panty peeking, to be pretty.
I've been through my share of self esteem motivational meetings, and have conducted a self esteem workshop myself. (Thank you again Grand Rapids for giving me this opportunity). I have the advantage of understanding the underlying factor that the media utilizes everyday; the distortion on the perception of beauty.
Anyways, I've taken a few tangents on this post already. Time to go back to studying.
Venting for the day: check.
-mittens.
